So last night at the BRMC show, after I had mentioned that it bothers me when people wear band t-shirts to see that specific band (it come off quite uppity, as if the person is saying “nah nah nah naaah naaah – I’m a bigger fan than you are!"), I was told that I should start a list of things that bother me, because I seem to have a lot of them. Ok, fine. Here goes nothin’. I’m sure I will not think of everything that bothers me in the first go-‘round, so as I think of more things I will post them in separate blog entries. Some I will try to explain and others I will not.
1) …well, as previously stated, it bothers me when people wear band t-shirts to see that band. And I think that instead of the intended meaning (I’m a way bigger fan than you, bro’), it just says “I bend over easily and paid 30 bucks for this t-shirt that will shrink so much that I can’t wear it in a year when this band comes through town again.”
2) Hummers and the people who drive them. Hummers are a giant FUCK YOU to both the environment and the other drivers on the road (you know, the whole killing-machine thing). Not to mention that a) I have never ever seen more then 2 people occupying a Hummer, which goes against my theory that people should only buy that size of car that they actually NEED for their family and lifestyle, and b) c’mon, Hummer drivers are compensating for something BIG (hmmmm…or shall I say something incredibly small? Hahahahahaha). Someone once asked me if I would hate a Hummer that ran on bio-diesel, and yes, I would still hate it because of the killing-machine thing, and the general attitude of the people who drive them. The whole “I own the road” thing. Ugh.
3) Drivers who have to almost come to a complete stop to turn right.
4) Fruit for dessert.
5) The dogs next door that bark all night long and keep me up.
6) The three three giant mosquito bites that I have on my elbow right now.
7) Personalized license plates. I think I have done several myspace blogs regarding this already. It was the worst in CA where they allow hearts as a symbol. I’ll excuse you while you go puke. My theory is that if you are going to pay a ridiculous amount of money on your license plate, then it should go to a good cause, like the “Texas Wildlife” plates or the ASPCA plates. Because no one cares that U[heart]
8) Drivers who go slow in the fast lane on the highway. Again, one of my theories: on a three-lane highway, the far right lane is for the slow drivers (speed limit and under) because then it’s easier for people to merge onto the highway. The middle lane is for drivers going the speed limit --> speed limit + 10mph, and the far left hand lane (aka the FAST LANE) is for people going speed limit + 10mph and over. Ok, glad we got that cleared up.
9) Litter-ers.
10) Animal abusers.
11) Anyone who doesn’t put sunscreen on their babies/children at places like the beach or Six Flags.
12) People who treat wait staff rudely.
13) When people stare at what’s in my grocery cart at the supermarket.
14) I think that if you are at a restaurant, and for example, your entrée comes with a side of salsa and some chips, and you run out of salsa because there is just not enough for your chips, and you ask your waiter for some “extra salsa,” that if they are going to charge you $3.50 for a tiny bit of salsa that they should tell you this when you ask for it and not surprise you on the bill. Because that tiny side of salsa was NOT worth $3.50, AllGood Café!!
15) Run-on sentences (see #14).
16) I hate that my PT Loser has never gotten over 17mph, even though 90% of my driving is highway miles, and when I bought it, Moritz Chrysler assured me it would get 25-28 mph. HA! What a big fat bunch of liars they are.
17) Animal testing.
18) Gas prices, and the fact that we even make gasoline-powered cars given all of the alternates we have today.
19) When people don’t believe in global warming and/or believe that it was a “conspiracy created by Al Gore.” Pfffffffffffffffffffffffft.
20) Fire ants.
21) Misuse of “good” and “well.”
22) George W. Bush
23) Guys who claim that they want a low-maintenance girl, but who only like long hair. That is what we call an oxy-moron. Long hair is never low maintenance. It takes longer to wash, longer to dry, and longer to style. And it always ends up stuck to your feet as you walk across the living room and clogs up the shower drain.
24) Couple that don’t match, i.e. a really tall guy with a really short girl, or vice versa. When these couples spawn, they create a bunch of these boys who grow up to be 5’8”. This does not help the tall ladies, a.k.a., me.
25) McMansions.
26) Crocs. Could there be an uglier shoe?
27) When people tell me that my greyhound is skinny.
28) Can I put my neighbor’s barking dogs on the list again?
29) People who answer their cells/texts less than 50% of the time.
30) Crotch rockets.
Ok that’s all I’ve got at the moment – more to come soon, I’m sure.
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