Wednesday, November 28, 2007

a few tips for Dallas drivers, based on observations over the past four days

- when the people in the lane next to you brake, it is not necessary to do any sympathy braking
- when it is dark outside and raining, it's a smart idea to turn on your headlights
- if you're in the "fast lane," a.k.a. the passing lane, and are pacing the person next to you for miles, therefor causing a backup of drivers behind you restlessly veering to the left or right and craning their necks to see if there is a reasonable explanation for this situation, please either speed up and get in front of the person next to you, or slow down and get behind them.
- when someone merges onto 30W from, oh, say, 1st Avenue, and has a mere five car lengths of lane to merge left, LET THEM OVER!
- I know that sometimes it is annoying to pay attention to all of the well-marked construction areas in Expo Park, but please remember that all four (or six or eight...) of your tires should be to the RIGHT of the yellow double striped line. If you see cars coming directly toward you, and the drivers are honking and flashing their lights at you, chances are you are on the wrong side of those pesky lines. Kindly MOVE OVER.
- Although I pity your clearly-tiny, well, member, I am not impressed with your Hummer/big shiny grill/Escalade/large white clean clearly-never-used-for-hauling-crap Ford 350/Landrover/make-your-car-shake bass/Expedition/over-sized rims. I am, however, jealous of your Honda Fit/VW Rabbit or GTI/Nissan Versa.
- Those white stripes in parking lots that are used to define parking slots are not just suggestions, YOUR VEHICLE IS ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO FIT BETWEEN THEM. I know, crazy right? So if you either can't drive your massive vehicle well enough to accomplish this feat, or if your vehicle simply doesn't fit, try downsizing and then get some therapy for your compensation issues. And please stop trying to fit in the compact spots - those are for me.

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