Saturday, June 28, 2008


Hummers offend me in a lot of ways. They offend my eyes, specifically my eye for design. They offend my nose with their fuel emissions. They offend my sense of safety, as even a fender bender with one of them could kill me. The list goes on.

But last week I saw the most obnoxious and offensive one to date. Oh how I wish I could've gotten to my camera! It was even more offensive than the H3 with the custom Burberry tire cover that I saw in Fort Worth. Yeah. For real.

Picture this:
Red H2. On the lower left-hand side of the back window there is a black "W: The President" sticker. Barf. It's the first "W" sticker I have seen in months. All of the Republicans I know would rather not draw attention to the fact that they voted for such an imbecile. But don't get me started on Bush...I digress. On the lower right-hand side of the back window was the very first McCain sticker I have seen in Texas. Lower your gaze to the license plate, and he has an SPCA plate. You know, the one that proves that he allegedly loves animals. But how can you truly love animals when you drive an animal-crushing machine? And how can you love animals when your H2 gets an estimated 13/17 mpg (and we all know that the "estimates" are always waaaay lower than what you actually get), and your gas emissions are choking the wildlife and giving your dog asthma? Hypocritical much? THE TOPPER was the personalized plates. If you know me, then you know that vanity plates drive me nuts. Like this one that I saw on I-30. They are very rarely clever or creative, and are most often just a way to show off and waste money and be obnoxious. Yet another manifestation of conspicuous consumption. I like to make fun of them. This guy's personalized plates said JOSH.

Wow, JOSH is taking being an asshole to a whole new level. JOSH is a bad representation of guys named JOSH. JOSH is compensating for A LOT. Poor JOSH has a teency tiny penis and has to do a significant amount of compensation to make himself feel better.

So if you see JOSH on the road, be sure to give him your favorite finger for me. Or tell him that you're sorry about how he was...shortchanged.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Minute by Minute

an open letter from Carrollton
(originally published in the Dallas News)

Letter from Carrollton

12:00 AM CDT on Friday, June 20, 2008
Sandra Laird, director of animal care, Operation Kindness Animal Shelter, Carrollton
Desperate times for pets

All we have to do to get our blood pressure up these days is to look at the prices we are paying at the pump. This is bad enough, but we are also paying higher prices for just about anything we buy that is trucked in. The ones who might be paying the ultimate price are the dogs and cats being turned in at our local shelters and humane societies.

People are losing their homes, having to move in with other family members and the pets that were once a part of their families are now being surrendered. We are just beginning kitten season, and more puppies are born all the time. People are not coming to the shelters to adopt these animals. When you don't know how you are going to pay to fill up your tank, you are not likely to take on the expense of a new pet.

You cannot imagine how I feel when I tell the lady who is bringing in her cat or a fellow humane officer, begging us to take some of the animals whose time is up, that we cannot accept any more animals because we are just too full. I agonize for the animal service officer whom I just said "no" to, as she or he looks for the last time into the beautiful eyes of that puppy or kitten that they are about to give back to God.

It might be wise for the Dallas City Council to adopt the proposed new animal ordinances that are about to go before them.

Sandra Laird, director of animal care, Operation Kindness Animal Shelter, Carrollton

Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Bagman's Gambit

On my way to work today I spotted a man crossing the street with his wife. He had her large, straw handbag clipped to his belt loop with a carabiner. Now that's commitment.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Doin' What Comes Natur'lly

HEY GERMAPHOBES! Wanna spread dangerous Staphylococcus all over your kitchen/bathroom/desk/phone? Try using an antibacterial wipe. Yeah, you heard me.

Turns out, using antibacterial wipes can spread around the methicillin-resistant staph. HA!

Scientists at Cardiff University, UK have found that this surface cleaner used in hospitals, but also in germphobic households, can spread methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus when used across more than one surface. So if you're going to use it, use it just like t.p.; wipe once, and then throw away. Or better yet, don't use them at all. Full article here.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

heard on Extra

"...and we were able to do that because of some Italian fabrications that we found in Italy."


(The weekend kind, of course.) I just took off and ran with projects this past weekend. There are still (always) things to do, but I am very proud of what all got done, in part to a 2 hour IKEA visit. I took pics, and for most of them I have a "before" and/or an "after."

1) replaced ugly painted door pull under the telephone nook with a glass pull (no pics because the glass knob on white door was hard to photograph).

2) Used AMORF window frost from IKEA to frost the top 3 panels of the bathroom window, and the top 3 panels of one of the kitchen windows. This stuff is awesome. Super easy to cut and put on the window, and comes right off if you want to remove it. I am particularly glad that the it *perfectly* matches the frost that was already on the bottom 3 panes of the bathroom window.




3) Next, I installed IKEA bookshelf lights:



4) After that, I took some succulents that I bought at IKEA, and planted them in a window box (also IKEA), and put it on the toilet tank. And I have to say it looks really good. Now all I have to do is restrain my tendency to over-water, and maybe they will live despite me.



5) I hung new white sheers in the dining room - made such a difference....



6) Installed new curtain rod and lace curtains in the bathroom in front of the shower curtain. Just in case you forgot that this house is a bachelorette pad, the bathroom is unabashedly girly.


7) This week I also finally hung the towel rack in the bathroom. And I love how the Breakfast at Tiffany's poster really ties together the black/white/gray theme of it all.

8) AND while I did all of this, I watched my Netflix of the day, Enchanted, so I knocked that off the list too.

There is still a lot left to shelf paper in the kitchen, hang wine rack, patch some drywall, caulk the stairs, sand and refinish a table, sand a few cabinets so that they close better, finish hanging curtains in bedroom, paint rooms, recover bench seat (again), make a couple of dog beds, sew table cloth...the list goes on and on. But at least I got a good number of things completed this weekend!

Monday, June 2, 2008

overheard at IKEA

the scene: A mother with a crying toddler on her hip, looking very closely at his face.

"Did you put something in your eye?"


"Well, I'm sorry you did that..."

heard on the TV...

...on a real show, with writers (not a reality show):

"Water is the most healthiest drink."